What Does the Bible Say About Sex Toys? A Christian Guide

Questions about sex can feel difficult for Christians to ask. Questions about sex toys may feel even harder.

Some believers have been told that almost anything connected with sexual pleasure is sinful. Others have heard that anything between a married husband and wife is automatically acceptable. Neither answer fully explains what Scripture actually says.

So, what does the Bible say about sex toys?

The clearest answer is this: the Bible does not directly mention modern sex toys. There is no command that specifically says a married couple may use them, and there is no verse that specifically names them as sinful.

That does not mean the Bible gives us no guidance.

Scripture speaks clearly about marriage, sexual faithfulness, pleasure, lust, self-control, love, conscience, and the way husbands and wives should treat each other. Those teachings give Christians a framework for thinking carefully about intimate choices.

The important thing is to distinguish between what Scripture directly teaches and what Christians infer from biblical principles.

Does the Bible Specifically Mention Sex Toys?

Modern sex toys did not exist in the forms familiar today, so we should not expect to find modern terminology in Scripture.

Several Christian ministries that take different positions on the issue still agree on this basic fact.

Focus on the Family, for example, states that the Bible does not directly address sex toys and therefore encourages married couples to consider biblical principles such as love, mutual agreement, and the purpose of marital intimacy. Kingdom Sexuality makes a similar observation while taking a relatively permissive approach. NeverThirsty also acknowledges that Scripture does not directly mention sex toys, although that ministry reaches a more restrictive conclusion about their use.

This disagreement is important.

It shows why Christians should be careful about saying, “The Bible clearly says sex toys are a sin,” or, on the other side, “The Bible clearly says sex toys are fine.”

The Bible clearly teaches many things about sexuality. But it does not directly answer this modern question by name.

That means we have to work from biblical principles.

Does Ezekiel 16:17 Talk About Sex Toys?

Ezekiel 16:17 sometimes appears in online discussions about this subject.

The verse says that Jerusalem took the gold and silver God had given her and made “images of men,” using strongly sexual language to describe what followed. Because of that wording, some people interpret the verse as referring to objects used sexually.

But context matters.

Ezekiel 16 is a long prophetic picture of Jerusalem’s unfaithfulness to God. The prophet describes idolatry as prostitution and adultery. Just before verse 17, Jerusalem is accused of using God’s gifts to create pagan shrines. The sexual language is part of Ezekiel’s shocking picture of spiritual betrayal.

Several Bible translations even render the “images of men” as male idols.

For that reason, it is too strong to say Ezekiel 16:17 gives Christians a direct rule about modern marital devices. The passage is primarily condemning idolatry and covenant unfaithfulness.

That does not settle every modern sexual question. It simply means we should not force an ancient prophetic passage to say more than its context supports.

What Does the Bible Say About Sexual Pleasure?

Christians sometimes speak about sex only in terms of temptation and sin.

The Bible gives a fuller picture.

Sexual immorality is certainly condemned. Yet sexual delight within marriage is also presented positively.

Proverbs 5 is one of the clearest examples.

The chapter warns a man strongly against sexual unfaithfulness. But the answer is not a life without desire. Instead, the man is told to rejoice in the wife of his youth and remain delighted in her love.

Proverbs 5:18–19 speaks openly about attraction and satisfaction between husband and wife.

The point is hard to miss: marital pleasure itself is not treated as shameful.

The Song of Solomon gives us another picture of romantic desire. The book contains affection, admiration, longing, beauty, closeness, and delight between lovers.

Christians have interpreted Song of Solomon in several ways through history. Some have emphasized its symbolic meaning, while others read it first as love poetry celebrating human marriage. Either way, its presence in Scripture reminds us that physical affection is not automatically dirty.

Desire must be ordered rightly, but desire itself is part of human life.

Can Christians Have Fun Sex?

Yes, married Christians can enjoy sexual intimacy.

Nothing in Scripture teaches that marital sex must be joyless, mechanical, or limited to reproduction alone.

Proverbs 5 openly celebrates delight. First Corinthians 7 describes sexual intimacy as something husband and wife owe one another in a relationship of mutual care. Scripture therefore presents marital sexuality as more than merely producing children.

At the same time, “fun” cannot become an excuse to ignore Christian character.

Christian love still matters in private.

Faithfulness still matters.

Kindness still matters.

Self-control still matters.

Respect still matters.

The bedroom is not a place where the teachings of Jesus suddenly stop applying.

A good way to think about Christian sexuality is not simply, “How much am I allowed to do?”

A better question is, “Does the way we treat each other reflect love, faithfulness, holiness, and care?”

That question is closely connected with how the Bible defines marriage. Biblical marriage is not simply a license for sexual activity. It is a covenant relationship in which two people belong faithfully to one another.

What Does the Bible Say About Sex Toys Within Marriage?

Because the Bible does not mention sex toys directly, Christians usually evaluate them by considering their purpose, effects, and place within the marriage.

Focus on the Family argues that married couples have freedom in many private decisions but emphasizes that mutual consent is essential. It also warns against anything that turns intimacy into a selfish or depersonalized experience.

Other Christian teachers take a stricter view and argue that sexual devices may move pleasure away from the husband-wife relationship itself. NeverThirsty represents this more restrictive position.

The disagreement cannot be solved by pretending the Bible contains a verse it does not contain.

Instead, several biblical questions become important.

Does It Strengthen or Replace Marital Intimacy?

Christian marriage is relational.

Genesis describes husband and wife becoming “one flesh.” Paul later uses this language when discussing marriage in Ephesians.

Sex is therefore not merely a physical reaction. It is connected with personal union, trust, vulnerability, affection, and covenant.

A married couple considering any sexual practice should ask whether it helps them move toward each other or gradually pushes them apart.

Something that becomes more important than the spouse may deserve serious examination.

Pleasure is not the enemy. But when a tool, fantasy, habit, or routine begins replacing loving connection, the deeper purpose of intimacy may be getting lost.

Are Both Husband and Wife Comfortable With It?

First Corinthians 7:3–5 is especially important because Paul speaks about both spouses.

He tells the husband to fulfill his marital responsibility toward his wife and gives the wife the same responsibility toward her husband. He then describes authority over the body in reciprocal terms and specifically uses the language of mutual consent when discussing temporary abstinence.

This passage should never be used as permission to pressure a husband or wife into an unwanted sexual activity.

Paul’s language is mutual.

Christian intimacy should therefore never depend on fear, force, manipulation, humiliation, or emotional pressure.

If one spouse is deeply uncomfortable with something, loving conversation matters more than winning an argument.

“No” should not become evidence that a spouse lacks faith or love.

Biblical love seeks the good of the other person.

Does It Bring Someone Else Into the Marriage?

This question moves us closer to areas where Scripture speaks directly.

Jesus teaches that adultery is not merely an outward physical act. In Matthew 5:27–28, He brings the issue into the heart and warns against looking at another person with lustful intent.

So the moral question may not simply be about an object.

What is happening in the mind?

Does an intimate practice depend on pornography?

Does it require fantasizing about another person?

Does it encourage emotional or sexual interest outside the marriage?

If so, the biblical concern becomes much clearer.

Christians asking what is sexual immorality in the Bible should remember that Scripture consistently joins sexual holiness with faithfulness.

A device itself cannot commit adultery. A human heart, however, can become unfaithful.

Can It Be Done With a Clear Christian Conscience?

Romans 14 is sometimes applied to questions the Bible does not directly address.

We should use the passage carefully because Paul was discussing disputes among believers, especially matters connected with food and religious observance.

Still, his teaching about conscience is useful.

Romans 14:22–23 warns against acting while inwardly believing the action is wrong.

This does not mean our feelings create God’s moral law. A conscience can be poorly informed and needs to be shaped by Scripture.

But it does mean Christians should not casually violate their conscience.

If you feel convicted that something would dishonor God, pushing through that conviction simply because another Christian says it is acceptable is not spiritual maturity.

Study Scripture. Pray. Talk honestly with your spouse. Seek wise pastoral help if necessary.

Do not build your conscience entirely from social media opinions.

Is It a Sin to Masturbate in Christianity?

This is another question where Christians often speak more confidently than the biblical text allows.

The Bible does not directly name masturbation.

That does not automatically make every form of masturbation right. It simply means there is no verse saying, “You shall not masturbate.”

Christians normally evaluate masturbation through other biblical teachings, especially lust, self-control, pornography, sexual desire, and the purpose of sexuality.

Did Onan Sin Because of Masturbation?

Genesis 38 is often brought into this discussion.

Onan was told to fulfill his family duty toward his deceased brother’s widow and provide offspring for his brother. Onan deliberately prevented conception because he knew the resulting child would not be counted as his own. Genesis says his action was wicked in God’s sight.

The passage is not describing masturbation.

Its focus is Onan’s deliberate refusal of his obligation and his exploitation of the situation.

Using Onan’s story as if it were a simple biblical command against masturbation ignores the main issue in the text.

Masturbation and Lust Are Not Exactly the Same Question

Jesus clearly condemns lustful intent in Matthew 5:28.

That teaching matters greatly.

If masturbation depends on pornography or deliberate fantasies involving someone who is not one’s spouse, Christians have a clear reason to examine the behavior through Jesus’ teaching about the heart.

But we should still distinguish the questions.

Jesus directly addresses lust. He does not directly name masturbation.

This distinction may seem small, but it matters when we claim to speak for Scripture.

A Christian asking what does the Bible say about masturbation should therefore consider not only the physical action but what is feeding it, what happens in the mind, whether it has become compulsive, and whether it is strengthening or weakening self-control.

Galatians 5 includes self-control among the fruit of the Spirit.

Any desire can become spiritually unhealthy when it begins controlling us.

Is Oral Sex a Sin in the Bible?

The Bible does not specifically discuss oral sex between a married husband and wife.

That means there is no verse that directly labels the practice sinful, and there is also no verse directly commanding or approving it by name.

The United Church of God, for example, acknowledges that Scripture does not specifically address oral sex and argues that married couples should apply larger principles concerning holiness, consideration, faithfulness, and mutual respect.

Some readers have tried to find specific sexual acts hidden in the imagery of Song of Solomon. Because ancient love poetry is highly figurative, we should be cautious about claiming certainty where the text itself is poetic and indirect.

The clearer biblical questions remain more useful:

Does the activity occur within a faithful marriage?

Do both husband and wife freely welcome it?

Does it involve degrading or hurting the other person?

Does it depend on lust toward someone outside the marriage?

Can both spouses approach it with a clear conscience before God?

Christian traditions may answer some applications differently, but those questions keep the discussion tied to principles Scripture actually teaches.

What Does the Bible Say About Sex Before Marriage?

The question changes significantly when sexual activity takes place outside marriage.

The New Testament repeatedly calls Christians away from sexual immorality.

First Thessalonians 4:3–5 connects holiness with avoiding sexual immorality and learning self-control rather than being ruled by passionate lust.

Hebrews 13:4 places sexual purity alongside honoring marriage and warns against adultery and sexual immorality.

For this reason, the broader biblical discussion about what the Bible says about sex before marriage cannot be reduced to whether a particular device or activity is mentioned.

The larger question is where Scripture places sexual union.

Christian teaching historically connects sexual intimacy with the marriage covenant.

That is also why the topic of what the Bible says about sex outside of marriage is different from a married couple asking how to express affection toward each other.

The context matters.

When Sexual Pleasure Becomes Spiritually Unhealthy

Sexual pleasure is not automatically sinful, but anything good can become distorted.

A helpful distinction is the difference between enjoying a gift and becoming controlled by it.

Paul tells believers in 1 Thessalonians 4 to live with holiness and honor rather than uncontrolled passion. Galatians likewise describes self-control as evidence of the Spirit’s work.

The following warning signs deserve serious attention:

• A spouse feels pressured, frightened, degraded, or unable to say no.
• Pornography or fantasies about other people become necessary.
• Sexual behavior becomes secretive and damages trust.
• A device or habit begins replacing affection between husband and wife.
• Pleasure becomes compulsive and increasingly difficult to control.
• One spouse’s desires consistently matter while the other’s feelings are ignored.
• The behavior violates a person’s settled Christian conscience.
• Sexual gratification becomes more important than love, faithfulness, prayer, or obedience to God.

The issue in such cases is larger than the object being used.

It is about the heart, the marriage, and the direction in which desire is moving.

What Different Christians Believe About Sex Toys

Christians do not all reach the same conclusion.

One group believes sex toys can be acceptable within marriage when husband and wife agree freely, remain faithful to one another, avoid pornography and outside fantasies, and use them only as part of their shared intimacy. Focus on the Family’s guidance is close to this conditional position.

Another group is more cautious. These Christians may not call every use sinful but worry that artificial stimulation can become a substitute for marital connection or encourage increasingly self-focused sexuality.

A third group believes Christians should avoid sex toys altogether because they see them as inconsistent with God’s intended pattern for marital sexual union. NeverThirsty’s treatment reflects this more restrictive approach.

We should describe these positions accurately.

They are attempts to apply biblical principles.

They are not three different Bible verses giving three different commands about sex toys.

That difference is important for honest Bible teaching.

Biblical Questions Christian Couples Can Ask

When Scripture does not name a modern practice directly, thoughtful questions can help believers apply what Scripture does teach.

These questions do not create a new law.

They help us apply biblical truth responsibly.

What Does the Bible Say About Sex Toys? The Answer in Simple Terms

The Bible does not specifically mention sex toys.

Therefore, Christians should be careful about claiming that Scripture directly bans or directly approves them.

What Scripture does give us is a clear vision for sexual character.

Marriage should be honored.

Married couples may delight in one another.

Husband and wife are called to mutual care.

Lust outside the faithful relationship matters to God because the heart matters.

Sexual immorality is rejected.

Self-control is a Christian virtue.

Conscience should not be casually violated.

Those principles matter more than finding a modern word inside an ancient text.

For a married Christian couple, the wiser question may therefore be less about asking, “Can we get away with this?” and more about asking, “Does this help us love each other faithfully before God?”

That changes the conversation.

It moves us away from fear and toward wisdom.

It also moves us away from careless permission.

Christian freedom is never freedom from love, holiness, faithfulness, or self-control.

What This Teaches Us About Christian Intimacy

God’s Word does not treat marital affection as shameful.

Proverbs openly celebrates delight between husband and wife. The Song of Solomon speaks beautifully about attraction and love. Paul recognizes mutual physical intimacy as part of marriage.

At the same time, Scripture refuses to separate pleasure from character.

Our private lives still belong to God.

That means Christians do not need to invent rules Scripture never states. But neither should we use biblical silence as permission to ignore what Scripture clearly teaches.

When considering sex toys or any other intimate practice, married couples can ask whether their choices express faithful love, mutual respect, purity, honesty, self-control, and care for one another.

Some sincere Christians will answer the practical question differently.

Where Scripture speaks clearly, Christians should obey it.

Where Scripture does not speak directly, we should handle God’s Word with humility.

And where husband and wife disagree, love should be stronger than pressure.

A healthy Christian marriage is not measured by how adventurous or restrained a couple is behind closed doors. It is measured far more deeply by faithfulness, tenderness, trust, sacrifice, and the desire to honor God together.

Dr. Rachel Adams

Dr. Rachel is very smart and knows a lot about the Bible. He helps us understand the Bible better by talking about the old texts in a simple way.